The most unattractive traits men who have done inner
work find in women…

Constant testing and chaos. Creating emotional turbulence
just to feel something. Mistaking intensity for passion
and intimacy and seeing peace as "boring."

Passive aggressiveness instead of direct communication.
Avoiding honest expression and instead communicating
through coldness, sarcasm, or silence.
Men with inner stability find this immature and draining.

Entitlement to his time, energy, or emotional labour.
Expecting him to be therapist, father, healer, and provider
without reciprocating with presence, support, or taking
accountability.

Refusal to self regulate or take ownership of triggers.
Expecting him to manage her nervous system, tiptoe
around her trauma, or constantly prove he's safe
rather than doing the inner work herself.

Demonising all men based on her past wounds.
Dumping rage and hurts from past relationships, toxic
men or her father into new healthy connections without
any self responsibility. Making new men pay for what
others did.

Living from an eternal girl that romanticises chaos,
avoids structure, and resists the responsibilty that
comes with maturity. Wants magic, intentsity, and
attention but disappears when stability and accountability
are asked of her.

Emotionally cold, hypercritical, and overly guarded.
Everything is dismissed or judged. There's no warmth,
and no amount of healthy effort or outcome feels good
enough.

Overly submissive. She accepts poor behavior, avoids
difficult conversations, and never challenges him.
Self abandoning nature. A man who's done the work
won't feel attracted to a dynamic where there's
no truth, no standards, and no Mutual growth.

Labeling volatility, abuse or emotional reactivity as
"feminine energy". Women who glorify their emotional
dysregulation and bypass doing the work to ground
themselves is super unattractive to a man who's done
inner work.

Your unchecked devouring mothering smothering energy
ontop of him. Treating him like a little boy. Acting
like his mother. A man who's done inner work can only
stand that enough for you to be aware of it and stop.

Women, an unhealed man will only respond to these
dysfunctions by trying to your father or saviour.
An unhealed man will project his mother onto you
and keep trying to prove he's worthy. But to a man
who's done the work, he'll just instantly feel
unattracted to you and move on.

I share all these examples with compassion.
I understand that they all come from a place
of parts of us within the shadow acting to feel
safe, loved and in control. And it's okay if you
have them. The invitation here is for you to become
aware, heal and integrate those parts so they don't
repeat dysfunctional dynamics or sabotage healty ones.

Charles Myssy
art:Las sirenas se divierten - Adolphe Lalyre

The elegance of absolute detachment

( How to become emotionally untouchable )

Silence is your highest currency

Stop giving a reaction to things that deserve your absence.
Not every clown deserves an audience in your mind.
Your energy is too rare to be wasted on temporary noise.
the moment you choose peace over being right you win.
Keep your private thoughts exclusive to thos who earn them.

Drop the urge to be understood

You owe nobody an explanation for choosing your own sanity.
Letting people misunderstand you is a true superpower.
Their projection of you is just a mirror of their internal chaos.
Silently upgrade your reality while they debate your old version.
Lions do not lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.

Guard the gates of your mind

Low vibrational drama stops at your boundary line.
Refuse to be an emotional dumping ground for the unhealed.
Focus so hard on your path that the side noise vanishes.
If an environment drains your battery, exit without warning.
Protect your inner peace like it is your only asset.

True confidence is silent

You do not need to announce your glow-up to make it real.
Moving with a calm indifference completely disarms them.
The less you validate yourself externally, the stronger you become.
Let your presence be heavy and your words be light.
Neutralize their storm with your absolute stillness.

Decompress in your own private space

Learning to stay unbothered requires daily internal upkeep.
Give yourself a buffer before responding to an emotional trigger.
Never allow someone else's bad day to dictate your inner state.
I started tracking my reactions in purpose journal app and it caught
personal patterns I was blind to, keeping me genuinely centered.
Process your heavy emotions in private so they can never be weaponized.

The ulitmate win is absolute indifference

Build a life so beautiful that looking back feels boring
Leave the score-settling to the universe while you elevate
The deepest form of closure is simply caring no more.
Stay detached, stay focused, stay completely unshakeable.

higher_vibes369

Mindset: Silent Confidence

You don't explain your moves. You just move.
No apologies, no justifications. People feel
the difference between someone proving themselves
and someone who simply is.

Mindset: Comfort is Death

Respectable people do uncomfortable shit. While
everyone else is scrolling, they're learning,
failing, trying. That gap is what people feel
and respect.

Mindset: Boundaries without guilt

No = complete sentence. You don't soften it,
repeat it, or explain it. People respect you
more when you're hard to access.

Mindset: Secure Enough to Disagree

You can have a different opinion and not need
them to agree. That's the move. Insecure people
argue to win. You argue to understand. There's
no defense in that.

Mindset: Protect your energy

You cut people off quietly. No posts. No venting.
No 6-month explanations. Just gone. That's rare
and that's respected.

the.goldentruths

I got upset because of your actions.

You got upset because of my reaction.

We are not the same.

I raised my voice after being ingnored.

You raised yours to avoid accountability.

We are not the same.

I reacted after my boundaries were crossed.

You reacted because your ego was bruised.

We are not the same.

I cried because I felt unheard.

You got angry because I wouldn't stay quiet.

We are not the same.

When someone pushes you until you break....

And then point at the breaking as proof you're
the problem, that's not mutual damage.

That's deflection.

Accountability feels like an attack...

To someone who benefits from your staying silent.
So they shift the focus, from their behavior to your
tone.

From their actions to your reaction.

And suddenly you're apologising for reacting…

Instead of being asked why you had to react at all.

A response to mistreatment is not the same as the
mistreatment itself.

One is defence.
One is control.

We are not the same.

@frankiestherapy