You begin every deep love in unconscious erotic Paradise.
Projections, idealizations, the blissful fusion of early
attraction.

Then consciousness intrudes.

You see the reality of the other person and the paradise
collapses. The projections withdraw. The disillusionment
feels unbearable. This is the critical moment.

Most people either flee, seeking a new partner on whom
to project afresh, or they sink into resentful coexistence,
mourning the lost paradise of unconscious love.

Both responses refuse the real work.

Conscious love is not the ecstasy of the beginning.
It is what comes after the ecstasy fails.
It demands that you relate to an actual, imperfect
complex human being rather than worshipping a projection.

The raw energy of unconscious desire must be transformed
into a refined capacity for deep, conscious relatedness.
You no longer fall in love blindly. You love with your
eyes open.

philemonisalive
art: Hilma Aft Klint