People who love you do not want
to abuse their power over you.

And they do have it.

Every close relationship contains
power. Closeness runs on
dependence, and the more someone
matters to you, the more you rely
on them.

Reliance is exposure by another name.
You hand the people you love the ability
to hurt you.

Someone always holds leverage. A person
who loves you notices the power they have
and sets it down. They could use your
feelings to get their way. They don't.

That quiet declining is most of what
love is.

Here is the sharper tell. Your dependence
has two parts: how much you need what they
give, and how many other places you could get it.

Someone who loves you wants that second number
to stay high. They keep your other ties intact.

Someone abusing their power does the reverse.
Slowly, reasonably, one situation at a time,
they thin out your alternatives until they are
the only one left.

Isolation is not a side effect. It is the
mechanism.

And you can see all of this clearly and still
not leave. Naming a structure while standing
inside it is still standing inside it.

Insight alone does not move stucture.

Dr. Annamariamatziorinis