Someone who uses silence as a response to trauma isn’t ignoring you.
They’re experiencing emotional withdrawal. They learned that speaking up gets them misunderstood. Dismissed. Made into the problem.
So now when they’re upset, they shut down completely. Inside their head, they’re explaining everything perfectly. How they feel. What went wrong.
What they need from you. But those words never make it out.
Because staying quiet feels safer than being misunderstood again.
So they handle everything alone. They disappear into themselves
until the hurt passes. Never asking for help. Never explaining
why they pulled away. Sometimes they’re the loudest person in the room.
Funny. Talkative. But when they’re actually hurting? Silence.
They don’t need you to fix them. They need someone who understands that their silence isn’t rejection. It’s protection. It’s old wounds that taught them speaking up only makes things worse.
If you love someone like this, don’t take their silence personally.
Just stay.

Philosophaire_
Art: Hilma af Klint