But what if all I want is conversation and time?

1) Peace in love

They say that to love someone is to be willing to die
for them. I have read this in great books, seen it in the
statues of the martyrs but I think this is a lie we tell
ourselves to make the emotion feel noble.

Dying is such an event isn't it? Dramatic. Period.

Funny how I am asking you for the most terrifying thing
in the world, I am asking for the tuesday.

I am asking for the hour between 4:00 pm and 5:00 pm
when nothing is happening, when the sun is slanting through
the dust motes, when there is no war to fight, no tragedy
to weep over.

I just want to sit in a chair across from you and watch you
drink coffee. I want the "how was your day" and the "pass the salt."

To die for you is easy for it happens once.

To live with you though, to watch your hair turn grey and your
skin loosen and still find you beautiful?

Are you brave enough for the boredom?

2) Bewilderment

Counter-saying: Silence is golden.
Correction: Silence is a poverty.

I am greedy for the sound of your voice. I don't want the
vows written in blood. I want he scraps, the murmur, the
sound you make when you are reading and you find a sentence
you like.

When you speak to me, you are pushing air from your lungs
into mine. If you stop talking, I suffocate. It is that simple.

Tell me about the weather. Tell me about the stain on the rug.
Tell me anything as long as it requires you to open your mouth
and let life out.

3) Nostalgia

I went to the market to buy us some time.

The stall was full of heavy things like diamonds, gold,
deeds to houses, plane tickets to Paris.

"I don't want to those," I told the merchant, who had
eyes like clocks. "I want the cheap stuff."

"What cheap stuff?" he asked me.

"I want ten minutes on a park bench," I said. "I want
a rainy Sunday morning. I want the time it takes for
a kettle to boil."

The merchant laughed and looked at me with pity.

"Oh, my friend," he said. "You cannot afford that.
The big things, the diamonds, the trips, the sacrifices,
those are cheap. Anyone can buy those with a little adrenaline
bit the small time? The quiet time? The time where you just sit
and be?"

He shook his head.

"That is the most expensive thing in the shop and that costs a lifetime."

4) The soul secret

Counter-saying: Action speaks louder than words.
Correction: Words are the only action that matters.

I want the intimacy of the mind. I want to cut open my skull
and let you walk around in the grey matter. I want you to do
the same.

When I say "I want conversation," I mean I want to be haunted
by your history.

When I say "I want time," I mean I want to witness the decay.

Can we just sit?

Can we just watch the candle burn down to the wax?

Can we just exist in the same room without trying

to consume each other?

Please.

Put down the sword.

Put down the shield.

Just pick up the teacup.

Talk to me until we are both dust.

Please?

frag.mentsofmy.soul