Did you know
That if they try to control your actions, it's because they feel out of control of their feelings.
And you probably do it too because we all do it.
When we feel out of control of our feelings, we try to control other people's actions. If, my peace depends on everything going right and on you acting a certain way and on everyone around me doing something the right way, that's not peace, that's fear and control. And those two things do not create connection.
What does create connection?
Oh compassionate curiosity. Okay. That's the answer. Compassionate curiosity. And if you guys can get curious together, yes that's were it's at. We make it worse when we agree with the people who say that our actions are the thing that make them feel bad. I have an impact on them, and I'm curious about that impact. I do not control them. And if I believe you and you tell me I need to change my actions so that you can feel better, and I go, okay, I'll change it. What I'm telling your subconscious is, you're right. I am in control of you and if I could just act better, if I could just do better, then you'd finally feel better. And that makes me your villain.
That is not how we get a beautiful relationship, the thing that makes us connected compassionate curiosity. If you try to control my action, my response, in a perfect world, is getting curious about your feeling.
Getting curious about how I impacted your feelings, how my actions impacted your feelings. And in a perfect world, you'd return with curiosity, too.

goodmorgantherapy
Art: izzy2wonderland