You can actually tell how much internal shame
somebody carries by what they cannot tolerate
in other people.
The person who is comfortable taking up space
irritates the one who learned visibility was
dangerous. The person who rests, unsettles
the one whose worth has always depended
on productivity.
The person who expresses their needs without
apology frustrates the one who learned that
being loved meant needing as little as possible.
The person who changes their mind unsettles
the one who learned that disappointing
others was dangerous.

Judgement can become a way of relocating shame:
If I can make something unacceptable in you,
I don't have to confront how mercilessly I have
rejected it in myself.

Sometimes, what we shame in others is simply
what we were never given permission to be.

the.conscious.psychologist.
art: Couple - by Mark English