Not every rupture deserves repair.

Sometimes the harm is so deep, so
egregious, that the only repair
someone asks for is:

"Offer me grace while I refuse
accountability."

That happened to me.
A friend harmed me.
I named it clearly

They refused to take accountability.

Instead they wanted mediation.

They wanted me to "be civil
in community."

They wanted connection without
responsibility.

I said no.

Because repair without
accountability isn't repair.

It's something else entirely.

We don't owe repair to everyone.

Boundaries with abusers are rules,
not co-created agreements.

Sometimes the most loving act
is refusal.

Repair is for the people you love.

The ones you want to keep close.

The ones willing to own their part.

Without that, it's domination
masquerading as connection.

christabelmintahnwankwo