Friday, February 6, 2026

One of the most clearest signs of emotional maturity is the ability
to hold complexity and even contradictions without collapsing into
black and white thinking.
In childhood this splitting helps us simplify the world by splitting
it into binaries like good versus bad, safe versus unsafe.
But as we mature we develop this ability to hold two opposing truths at once such as people can disappoint me and still be good people, or love can coexist with conflict. Emotional immaturity often stems from being stuck in an earlier developmental stage where complexity seems overwhelming and threatening.
But the cost of black and white thinking in adulthood is that it distorts reality.
Creating rigid judgements and difficulty showing compassion to others and to ourselves. Emotional maturity by contrast means tolerating ambiguity and meeting reality as it is, messy and nuanced.

Francesca Tighinean

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