Always be silent in these three situations,
if you want more peace and less weight in your life.

Be silent when you are angry.

Anger is the worst state to choose your words from.
The mouth moves faster when the mind is darkest.
And the thing you say in 10 seconds
can take 10 years to undo.

Most people regret the words they threw more
than the ones they swallowed.

Zen teaches that anger is not feeling that
needs a witness. It is a feeling that needs
a few minutes of space. Step back. Let the
heat leave your chest before it reaches
your mouth. What you wanted to say will still
be waiting. It will just come out cleaner.

Be silent when someone has already made a decision.

Some people are not listening to you. They are listening
to a version of you they built before you opened your mouth.

You can rephrase the same thing 20 ways, and they will
receive it the same way each time. The problem is not how
you are saying it. The problem is that they are not asking.

You don't owe everyone the effort of being understood.
The ones who want to understand you will find their way there.

The ones who don't would would have found a reason to misread
you regardless.

Be silent when you want to truly hear someone.

Listening is not staying quiet while you wait for your turn.
Listening is not tracking what you plan to say next.
Real listening is when you stop trying to read the person
and let them read themselves out loud in front of you.

People will tell you exactly who they are if you stop
interrupting with who you think they are.
The longer you hold the silence, the more honest they become.

Not because you ask the right question, because you finally
stopped asking. Remember this. The quieter you become on the outside,
the louder you can hear on the inside.

thezenstoryteller