automatically trigger the anima/animus possession in the other
person, and you will see a shadow dance between them."
"If she leads with cold logic and control, which can show up as
being very opinionated, rigid, being very fixed in her convictions
with no room for flexibility, the man will either lead with emotion
and become overwhelmed, or he'll disconnect and disassociate emotionally."
"For example, if the woman becomes highly critical towards the man
(animus possession), he might become moody in response (anima possessed), or he'll cut off completely, and escape into intellectualization and rationalization."
"She critiques; he will collapse. He seeks intimacy; she will intellectualize. She expects him to lead; he expects her to feel him deeply and guide him emotionally. This creates a loop of Mutual disappointment where neither feels seen or met, and each is expecting the other to live out their soul life for them."
"Other common patterns you see are the idealizer and the rebel. One person worships the other's potential. The other rebels against the pressure to fulfill the fantasy."
"Or the parent-child dynamic where one becomes overly responsible and guiding, which is often an animus-driven woman, and the other regresses into emotional dependency, which is anima-driven."
"If you're a woman thinking, "I gotta get this guy to get his shit together or do his inner work," he will likely regress into emotional dependency or become emotionally overwhelmed. That is the parent-child dynamic or mutual projection."
"Both partners are relating to each other as symbols, not people, unable to differentiate the real person from the projection. This is so common that it's culturally supported."
"We live in a society that is, I would argue, 80% externalizing,
and you'll even see it in your own parents, too. It's a very common
dynamic to have an animus possessed woman and a anima possessed man, and then we repeat those parental dynamics in or own relationships."
Laura Matsue
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