The greates act of love that you can give somebody else
is giving them an opportunity to be their best selves.
And that means you have to take their love, you have to
give them an opportunity to love you.
The greatest act of selfishness is never allowing somebody
to serve you, never allowing somebody to love you.
And people do this all the time you know for all sorts of
reasons.

Q what is the source code behind the resistance to that?

Part of it is, I mean the source code behind the resistance to that,
that the love we're expressing to other people is, yeah I wouldn't say
that it's performative but I think it's pro forma. I think it becomes
a common pro forma this is the person that I should be
it's love as duty as opposed to love as code of metaphysics.
Love is circulatory like blood and if you stop it because you
give it but you don't take it it coagulates it becomes unhelpfull
it becomes dangerous as a matter of fact and the most selfish people
that I have ever met are the ones who don't allow themselves to be loved.
They're the ones who will act in a very kind way toward other people
but ultimately they close themselves off. They're isolated from that
and that's a misunderstanding of what love actually is.

Arthur c. Brooks
Art: Alaya Gadeh