How can you tell you are with the right person?

The "right" person is the one reality has placed in front of you at this point in your life. What's in the way becomes the way.

How is that possible? What if the partner is abusive and narcissistic?

Nothing that happens in one's life is random, including getting into an abusive relationship. Why does one attract such an experience? What is the lesson? What is life trying to awaken?

A abusive partner will eventually become the very force that turns you back to yourself. The pain teaches you to establish boundaries, to return to your heart, and to reclaim the voice you buried in childhood in the hope being accepted and loved. So, is it really a bad relationship if it brought you back to yourself?

What would happen if we deeply understood that relationships are mere vehicles of awakening, meant to return us to ourselves, to our very essence?

Are you saying that every relationship that comes our way is the right one because they become a mirror and a catalyst for growth?

Exactly. Just as in school you cannot skip from first grade to tenth, life and relationships unfold in stages. Each person reflects your level of awareness at the time and reveals what you are ready and required to see and grow out of.

Can you explain how our relationship journey unfolds in stages? What are these stages?

After getting out of an abusive relationship, the person heals by getting in touch with their own truth. They see that suppressing their voice cannot buy them love, only disappointment, resentment and possibly abuse. So they learn to communicate their needs and wants and seek someone who can meet them in that place.

In this case, 'right partner' often means the one who meets your needs, fits your preferences, and validates your identity. But all of that is still centered on the self as demand. It is still the ego asking, 'who is good for me?"

The soul eventually sees that there is a relationship dynamic beyond Mutual satisfaction of our egoic wants and needs. This kind of relationship is really rare and comes from asking this simple question - "with whom do I not feel divided? With whom can I rest and truly be myself?"

You see, the right person at this stage of spiritual development is not the one who excites you or merely satisfies your wants or needs, but the one who makes you feel like home. And what is home? That is simply yourself.

When you are at home, you no longer have to try, you no longer have to impress, you no longer have to become someone better or more. You simply are, fully, wholly, unapologetically you.

In the presence of such a person, your nervous system softens, your masks fall, as there is no longer fear of judgment, and your being feels completely at ease.

The highest form of human relationship is a commitment to truth, grounded in the pure and authentic expression of each soul.

Authenticity is not just a beautiful quality in a relationship; it is the ground of love itself. Without it, there may be attachment, need, fantasy, comfort, even intense passion, but not love in its pure sense. Because love requires reality. It requires two people willing to stand without disguise and meet completely naked in truth and truth alone.

Without truth, there is no love, but rather a negotiation between masks, desires, fears, and expectations. And masks cannot love, but only become attached. They demand, compare, cling, and eventually collide.

Unless you can fully relax into your true self, embracing the good, the bad, and the ugly, you cannot truly receive the love of another, because that love is not for your true essence but for a carefully curated mask; a mask made loveable on the condition that it meets someone else's needs.

So how can you tell you are with the right person? The right person changes as your consciousness changes: first, the one who wounds you and sends you back to yourself; then, the one who flatters your ego and appears to complete you; and finally, the one with whom you can simply be, without the need to become someone else.

Freedom.from.the.madness.