The dance of anxious/avoidant attachment styles

Anxious: I feel guilty for wanting closeness.
Avoidant: I feel guilty for wanting distance.

Anxious: I blame myself when something feels off.
Avoidant: I blame myself for not being who people want me to be.

Anxious: I worry my needs push people away.
Avoidant: I worry my emotions make me weak.

Anxious: I feel bad that I care so much.
Avoidant: I feel bad that nothing feels safe to care about.

Anxious: I feel ashamed when I reach for reassurance.
Avoidant: I feel ashamed when someone sees my fear.

Anxious: I feel responsible for fixing every rupture.
Avoidant: I feel responsible for holding everything together by staying calm.

Anxious: I feel bad for taking up space.
Avoidant: I feel bad for taking time to open up.

Anxious: I fear I am not enough for the people I love.
Avoidant: I fear I am too much for anyone to actually love.

Anxious: I feel bad when I ask for more.
Avoidant: I feel bad when someone expects more from me.

Anxious: I feel wrong for wanting deep connection.
Avoidant: I feel wrong for not knowing how to give it.

Derek Hart

They always connect. They almost always choose each other.

Art: Victo Ngai