conversation

Hey, I feel myself
Pulling away from
You.

                  Uh Oh Again?

  Do you have a minute
To talk about it?

                  Of course

  You know, I’m doing that
Thing, I start imagining
Scenarios in the future
Where we struggle.

                  I’m sorry, I know
That’s hard for you

  I get that it’s anxiety…
Relationship anxiety, or
Whatever type.

  And I get that we will
Struggle a little, and
That’s fine

                               Sure, everyone does.

  But the scenarios are becoming
Exaggerated and overwhelming.

                  Is that why you’re
Sleeping poorly ?

  Yeah.

  It’s the same old panic.
Is this situation right for me?
Am I giving up
Some essential part of
Myself? Am I wasting
My days and energy and time?

                  Honey.

  I don’t think those things
About you. Not really.

                  I Know.

  It’s a mental illness. A disorder.

                  I Know

  My body feels it and
Follows suit – away from you.

                  I Know

  I just get lost in this space
Of, like, unlimited potential.
Like, many choices still
Open to me. Because if I
Haven’t chosen, then I can’t
Have chosen wrongly.

                  It’s more comfortable
               And safe there, without commitment.

  People, work, places, whatever.

  But that place is death,
Actually.

                  To an extent.

  To stay there is
Death.

                  Yes.

  I remind myself I have already
Chosen, and that helps a little.
There’s no need to overthink this.
You have chosen a person, a life,
A direction. Release yourself from
The burden of wondering. You,
Who are prone to rumination.
You are strong and capable, and focus
On what’s in front of you.

                  My darling.

  But I still do pull away.

                  I feel it.

  Talking brings me back.
Your voice will always
Bring me back.

                  I’m glad

  I’m sorry, I know this is
never easy to hear.

                  No, but we can
Handle it.

  We can handle it.

                  We can handle it.

  Iamsitting